Sunday, December 01, 2013

The Rooms of Recovery are our Chalkboard

When I arrived here over thirty years ago now, I had a lot of crazy writing on my chalkboard. A timeline of drinking and drugs beginning in my early teens, years of drinking and using before it stopped working, arrests, then years where “My bottom had a hole in it” and I kept using despite the consequences. When I finally skidded into the rooms of NA, I had made a serious mess of my life’s chalkboard.
I arrived here beaten but still unwilling. I stayed clean eventually, but was not convinced the third step would work in all areas of my life. I kept putting more negatives on my chalkboard based not on using, but on crazy behavior. It took me a few years before, thoroughly beaten and still crazy, I decided to take the third step in all areas of my life.
The program provided me with a big eraser that allowed me to expunge many of the problems I had on my chalkboard when I got here. Eventually, with guidance from my sponsor and others in the Fellowship, I began to make new entries on my life’s chalkboard. I began to have friends who taught me how to be a friend, I graduated from college, I regained the love and respect of my family and I developed a career.
Today, my life’s chalkboard is relatively free of mistakes. There were a few  tragic mistakes I made when I was out there I can never fully erase, but these reminders humble me and ensure I fully appreciate the gift I was given when my Higher Power removed my active addiction. I still make some missteps today from time to time. However, they are fewer and farther between every year. I am grateful God gave me another chance and erased that chalkboard so I could write new memories.

I hope you had a love-filled Thanksgiving. Today with God's gift of recovery, I did. Every year, my holidays get better. 

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