When I first came around the rooms, I heard this expression often. I had been a loner, an isolator, a rebel without a cause for so many years, I didn't think that expression applied to me. I was terminally unique, as many of us that come in and out of the rooms feel we are. I was sure that no one had ever been through what I'd been through or used drugs the way that I had.
Today I can safely say I've been around well over two decades and I'm still in the middle of the pack. I go to at least three or four meetings a week, I am of service in my home group and of some help in general service to the Fellowship, speaking at H&I meetings when I can and sponsoring a few wonderful women.
The other night at my home group I was swilling down a wonderful cup of coffee, looking at faces of people I have grown to love and feeling very lucky to be part of this wonderful Fellowship. Because I "suit up and show up," share my experience, I hope, in a non-judgmental way, I can be of maximum service to my fellow addicts and to society as a whole.
This person is a far cry from that shattered gal who vibrated into meetings for the first time almost 25 years ago. Today there is such abundance in my life--friends; relationships with siblings that grow stronger every year; 2 dogs, of course; and a strong presence in my life of a partner with whom I'm struggling, on a daily basis, to connect with.
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We often fail forward, don't we? When we stumble in recovery, we don't fall back, we really fall a few steps forward. When I stay in the middle of the pack, it's easier to sort out the next right action I have to take to get back on the path to recovery.
Until next time, stay in the middle of the pack. You'll find with winter soon coming, it's much warmer and safer there.
3 comments:
lovin the pic & post :) i have 4 wonderful dogs (3 dalmatians & a siberian husky) who are great friends.
What a great share.
Fabulous!
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