Monday, October 06, 2008

Trudge, baby, trudge!

I went to a step meeting tonight focused on Step Six. The first time I went through the steps with my sponsor, my Fifth Step took about eight hours so my sponsor was probably too exhausted to tell me to go home immediately and take Step Six and Seven. Of course, with all our fancy step guides today, I don't know many people who sponsor that way anymore.

However, what happened is I got hung up on Steps Six and Seven for a long, long while. I made them much more complicated than they are. At the meeting there were a few opinions about how to take Step Six, and one gal said that she looked forward to a long, tortuous life with the help of Step Six. A guy sitting near me turned to his friend and said, "Trudge, baby, trudge!"

Isn't that how it goes? Many times we must just put one foot in front of the other, put down our heads and focus on each minute.

Another thing I heard at the meeting before the meeting (which is why I like to show up early) is a man state that the economy was causing him to live in fear. I can definitely relate. I feel very uncertain right now about the future, my future, our nation's future. I believe I can have some level of fear and faith at the same time.

There are only a few "must haves" in my life today: The Fellowship and an ability to buy my anti-rejection drugs. Other than that, I don't need much. I'd like, of course, to continue to pay my mortgage, but so what if I can't? I'd like to remain employed, but so what if I don't? I'd like to be able to eat regularly, but I could lose a few pounds and it wouldn't kill me.

Seriously, as I watch the economy continue to melt down, there is some level of fear. But I know that as long as I can get to meetings, despite what happens around me, I'll be okay.

I love the picture.
If I believe in what I see happening around me, I get confused and fearful. As my sponsor used to say when I called her, "God is the answer; now what was the question?"


Syd said...

Strangely I don't feel much fear about this. I can go back to living like a graduate student if I have to. I don't need much of anything. All is basically paid for. I know that one way or the other all will work according to God's plan.

Akannie said...

Good to see you back again. That is's been really nice (65 now @ midnight) here in the outer banks of St Louis...

I love that--God is the answer--now what was the question?

Loving Recovering said...

I have been struggling with this lately. What if I get laid off how will I take care of everyone (my three dogs included). I think I was meant to stumble upon your blog today because I really find it comforting what your sponsor used to say. That will be my mantra for today.