A flashlight, not a spotlight

I talked to a good friend of mine this morning. I credit my life to her because before I had the transplant and I was in the hospital, toxic and with failing kidneys, she was my patient advocate. The doctor had pretty much given up on me and had told my brother that I wouldn't live through the night.

She knew me well and she knew my fighting spirit. (Those of us who survive to get to the rooms are all fighters, I believe!) She confronted the doctor and insisted he re-examine me and the situation and fought for me. That I am alive today is a credit to her love, her belief in me and to the grace of God, as I've often said in this blog.

Today she and I talked about God's will. She used a beautiful analogy that seemed to fit my life because it has changed so radically.

She said that walking in God's will is like walking a dark path with a flashlight. If you use the flashlight beam effectively, which is right in front of you, your path will be illuminated and you won't stumble. But if you shine the beam too far forward, you won't be able to see right in front of you and you'll stumble and even fall.

There's another thing, I told her, based on my experience. I use flashlights with an adjustable beam. Sometimes God's beam in my life is wide but many times, it's very, very narrow and only illuminates a small area of my life, usually one I'm struggling with.

How can I widen the beam? I wondered after we continued to chat. I think God's will widens only if I keep seeking His will for me, sometimes very specifically.

There's the old Program adage: "When you don't know what to do, don't do anything!" It has served me well over the years. It's simple but effective, because if I'm not sure I'm walking in God's will, then the chances are high that I'll do something out of self-will that feels right but ends up a disaster.

God's light is often a flashlight, not a spotlight. Today I accept that God's beam may not be wide, but it is always very strong if I keep it focused on today.