Friday, December 22, 2006

Muzzle-tov


Why do animals just slay me? Couldn't you just give this big snoot a smooch?
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As I peruse the various recovery blogs, I find very little emphasis placed on the holidays. We always hear people say "A lot of people go out during the holidays." That's probably true, but my experience has shown a lot of people go out all year long. I'm not sure if the number of people going out during the holidays is statistically significant, but I do know the various functions are a great way to help you to stay clean if you want to.
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After I became an adult, I was never too wild about the holidays. When I was out there, I always hoped for cash so I could drink and use more, but other than that, anything holiday-like in my life was created by my parents.
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My mother had beautiful Christmas things, small houses, lights, Christmas dishes, a beautiful manger set (that Oz ate a few years ago). But it seems like to me the holidays are just something to "get through."
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I can't tell you the number of Thanksgivings and Christmases I spent sitting near my connection's house waiting for him to get home from some family function so I could score. What a miserable way to spend what should be such a loving day. Through the grace of God, I haven't had to do that for many, many years.
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What I love today about the holidays are the Narathons and Alcathons. In Phoenix, there were many throughout the valley and I usually spent most of the four days at Christmas at one after another seeing people I don't normally see throughout the year.
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Here, we may have one club holding an Alcathon, but we are having a big New Year's Eve bash and I've been working on the committee to put that together. It's really been fun. If you aren't in service yet, it's a great way to meet people. I've met a few women that I otherwise probably wouldn't have met.
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I've been a little blue for a few days, I wasn't sure why until I hit on it last night. I probably am blue because I miss my mother. This will be my third Christmas without her, but I still feel some days like I could walk into a room and she'd be sitting there, smiling that loving smile she had.
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My s/o's family are Christmas nuts. We're going to spend the day there and cook a ham. I had so much fun going with him to shop for them. I love to shop and whether I'm buying it for me or someone else, it's really a blast. Yesterday a new woman friend and I went shopping at a discount score. Two women with ADD and and high loads of caffeine in a TJ Maxx is probably not a pretty sight. But we sure had fun.
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Today I'm making my first batch of fantasy fudge to take to the club tonight. I love the fudge from the recipe off marshmallow whip.
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Anyhoo, I have to vacuum now, stopping frequently to wrestle it from Oz' teeth. He views the vacuum as his mortal enemy. So until tomorrow, Muzzle-tov!

4 comments:

vicariousrising said...

I can so relate to feeling like the holidays are something to just get through. Actually, I like Thanksgiving, but I hate Christmas. This year has been... I hate to say almost nice because it is not done yet, but it really hasn't been bad. But I've not placed any expectations on it and been fairly wary. I hope one day I will have a real happy Christmas in some meaningful way, but I don't know what that means yet. It's all one day at a time, and the holidays are that way too.

I wish I could have some of your fudge!

Happy holidays!
Judith

Anna said...

Now that I am sober and have worked the steps I love the holidays! I was told on my first Christmas sober that I have control of wither I would have a miserable one or a happy one.. being the feel good junkie I am I choose to have a happy one. For me I think about all that has been given to me and I can't help but be happy.

SCoUt said...

"I can't tell you the number of Thanksgivings and Christmases I spent sitting near my connection's house waiting for him to get home from some family function so I could score."

BEEN THERE!!

"I still feel some days like I could walk into a room and she'd be sitting there, smiling that loving smile she had."

Been there, too, but with my father and Chanukah.

"Two women with ADD and and high loads of caffeine in a TJ Maxx is probably not a pretty sight. But we sure had fun."
"stopping frequently to wrestle it from Oz' teeth. He views the vacuum as his mortal enemy."

And here and here :D
Going to a marathan NA meeting on X-mas Eve!
Love,
Scout

Rex said...

Glad you have found the source of some of the blues. I am beginning to very much enjoy the holidays now that I'm sober. We keep it simple and very centered on the reason for the season and family. The thing I really noticed the last year is that I no longer get really stressed out and moody when holidays arrive.