Sunday, January 28, 2007

It's Sunday

How was your weekend? I've been considering why I keep doing this blog. I spend more time each day working on the blog than my other writing, which may eventually and sometimes does pay. Tonight I was thinking "All this blog really does is piss off my significant other, a few people comment from time to time, but what difference does it make, really?"

I also noticed that although I have some traffic, it's not increasing like it seems to on the other blogs and I definitely don't get the hits others get on their blogs. I keep thinking readership will pick up, that "something" may happen. I know I've recently "found my voice," as my brother says, and usually I have no problem coming up with a topic. But given those few positives, I'm thinking maybe it's time to let it go.

I'm thinking about quitting before the miracle and putting the hour or more a day I put into this blog into something that will perhaps pay and get published and be of more help to more people.

I did get a nice email from a woman I sponsor who said that she enjoys my blog and I have a few loyal readers who comment. But in truth, maybe my time is better spent working on other things.

I went to my home group tonight where two members celebrated a combined 32 years, then one of them swatted another member (female) on the butt with a magazine. His wife was not amused and the fireworks erupted.

I used to sponsor the gal he smacked and she came to me after the meeting, very upset. "What should I do?" she asked. "My fiancee would be furious and his wife is furious." She was visibly upset and embarrassed.

Since this wasn't the first time he'd done this to her, I told her she needed to "read him the riot act" and tell him that it was totally inappropriate and that he should never do that to her again. Sometimes people, even if they're 45 years old, don't know how to act if we don't set boundaries and in those circumstances, righteous indignation or even downright ripping someone is, to me, appropriate to ensure it doesn't happen again.
Next his wife came to me in tears over the incident. I told her that his behavior was no reflection on her and all she could do was tell him how she felt about it. "Why does he do that?" she asked me. I can't possibly read into his behavior what it's about. All I could tell her is that it's an immature thing to do. As NA Turns. It absolutely, after all these years, keeps me young and laughing.

I took a class one time on female leadership from a fantastic trainer. She told about how, at her job, a male coworker kept parking in her parking space as if she didn't exist and she'd have to park on the street in a big city and hoof it two or three blocks to work. She asked him nicely, two times, not to use her parking space. The third time he did it, she parked on the street, came into the office, barged directly into his office (he was with a client) and strode up to him. Interrupting his meeting, she said directly in his face, "If you EVER park in my space again, I'm going to flatten all four of your tires." She turned around and walked out. He never parked in her space again. Isn't it sad that we sometimes have to resort to a tactic like this to get people to hear us?

So anyway, it's about 12 degrees or something here and I'm heading off to bed with a book and twodogs. I hope you're all doing well. I have another busy week ahead of me; I don't know how I'd find time to work if I did find a job.

Until tomorrow, take it any way it comes, but take it clean and sober and one day at a time.


Gwen said...

FO what it's worth I hope you decide to keep blogging. I had to work out some time scheduling for myself as it was beginning to take over. Now if I don't post everyday or can't visit my blog friends everyday I don't beat myself up. I have to put it in perspective and remember to be true to me.

I also really agree with what you sad about people not getting the boundaries. Especaially people in recovery because we generally come from unhealthy places. It is really sad when we are not heard. I really am thinking more and more it has to do with the Y chromosome. Your post is powerful and positive.

Hope you have a wonderful Monday~

Anonymous said...

Oh, my dawg....I haven't even had the chance to know you very long and now you are thinking about going???? It would really have a huge impact on me because I look to your blog for E,S, and H -- just letting you know, not trying to guilt trip you ;)
There are ways to increase your traffic if you really want to do that. I can let you know what I did to pick it up a bit.....
I really hope you stay.
As NA Turns -- I am well acquainted with that show. There's an episode in this neck of the woods, too, which sounds very similar to yours. I bet if we look hard enough, some of the players are even connected in some way ;)
Peace, my dawg, and stay warm,

msb said...

I love your blog. Most days its the best bit of recovery I get. Sometimes I think the the rewards are hidden and are only revealed in spirit.

Meg Moran said...

I understand TOTALLY that we have to prioritize our time commitment with this whole deal...but I gotta tell you, you have a gift girl. What you do with it is between you and your HP, but I would imagine there is a whole lot more to be said and a whole lot of people that will be reached....please give it some more time, and I will put it on my urgent prayer list (UPL).....

Anonymous said...

I would hope you would keep your blog open a little while longer. I've been reading it since the beginning. I would miss you.