Advice for the day

Not that I know anything. But I do know this. If someone encourages you to be blunt, go for it! My whole life I feel like I've had to sugar coat everything. Maybe it's being a female, that marginal status I've talked about before in other blog entries. I'm always afraid I'll hurt someone's feelings, a few people aside who, over the years, I've tortured mercilously and owed big amends to.

I should be assertive, because one of the classes I've taught with great feedback is assertive training. I guess we do teach what we can't do.

I flew up to Michigan and back yesterday, which meant my day started about 4:45 a.m. and I was on the road back home until almost 11 p.m., so I was fried. My s/o had planned to come over to greet me, which when he suggested it I thought, "Hm, maybe not such a good idea" because when I'm tired, I don't want to interact with humans, only dogs. But I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

Last night when we spoke as I was leaving the airport to drive the two hours home, I was a little more direct and hemmed and hawed and said "I don't want you to stay up so late" and finally "I don't think I'll be very good company." I could tell I hurt his feelings because he's a planner, while I'm a "fly by the seat of my pants" kinda girl.

It would have been much better if I'd said originally what I was thinking: that it wasn't a great idea. Instead of being blunt, which he encourages me to do saying "Just tell me!," I tried to spare both our feelings and ended up hurting his. The lesson in all this is I have to risk telling him how I really feel at the time, rather than waiting until he's made plans despite my unspoken misgivings.

Anyway, the interview went okay, I think, but because I've been out of work for a couple years on paper, at least (writing a book is work, even if it isn't published yet), I had to explain why I wasn't working without discussing the transplant. That wasn't easy. So we'll see. I know that God will put me right where I'm supposed to be.

Here's the weird thing. There was nothing on my resume that said I ever lived in Glendale, Arizona. They had their security pick me up at the airport, a former highway patrolman who now heads up their security. As we drove he asked me about living in Glendale because his mother lived in Scottsdale. That means they did some background checking before I got there and signed off on backgrounds, which is illegal. I didn't say anything, just noted it. I don't like that. Cops are like that; they feel they're above the law so maybe he did this on his own. It creeps me out, though.

And that's being blunt.