Geez, I'm tired

I went to my transplant surgeon last week for a checkup and we discussed returning to work. Although I'm feeling great, I haven't had the stamina to return to work on a regular basis. They suggested I plunge in. Psychologically, those were powerful words to me. I feel again, after a year-and-a-half of being basically unemployed, that I can once again be a productive member of society.

So I've been busy working with my talented brother, who in one day completely redesigned my website. I've also been obtaining the various things I need to get back into business--licenses, equipment, bank accounts, but mainly cold calling and schmoozing people to use my service (risk management). And for the first time in months I feel positive about myself, about my ability to once again contribute to the world and be self-supporting through my own contributions.

In the early 90s when I worked at NA World Service, I remember my boss and friend Steve L. asking me if I worked the Traditions in my life, as well as the Steps. I wasn't sure at all sure what he meant. But over the years, I've found that working the Traditions in my personal life, and of course, the 7th Tradition tells me to be self-supporting through my own contributions, makes me feel better about myself and helps me forge "right relationships" with others.

One of my pet peeves in the rooms is people who openly talk about how disabled they are and receive social security or other disability income but are out making money on the side cleaning houses, doing repair work or somehow scamming the social security system, not to mention the IRS. Our program teaches us "cash register honesty" and to me that does not include earning non-reported income. It's called 'fraud' and it's illegal and it's not "practicing these principles in all our affairs." But as one member said, "If you practice these principles in all your affairs, you'll have fewer affairs."

But I digress. I know that I've always gotten much of my self-esteem from my ability to earn a living. Today I am grateful God has returned me to good health so that I can once again enter the working fray.