Anything but start this project . . .

Do you know I've discarded three full kitchen garbage bags of paper from my office this week? Yes, I can actually see some of the floor. This morning to procrastinate further to keep from starting my project I've started a pot roast in the crock pot, taken both dogs for a nice walk in the beautiful spring morning, gone to my future in-laws to sit with Ms. "Riveter" so her husband could go to the doctor, talked on the phone at length with one friend and much shorter, due to call waiting, to another, swept the floor, and done a few other things. Procrastination is a wonderful thing.

Once I begin working on a project in earnest, I tend to hyperfocus so there's no stopping me. I'm not clear why I'm procrastinating on this particular project except that there's a lot of reading I have to do (insurance policy language is fascinating--NOT) and it's hard for me to sit down and actually do it without jumping up every five minutes.

My girlfriend's husband, she has 21 years and he had eighteen, relapsed last year and was about nine months clean and about to take his chip. She called me a few nights ago and he was "off to the races," she said. They have four kids and they're about to adopt another one and this has really thrown another wrench in her plans.

When she called me yesterday she was making plans, "I can sell the house and get a smaller one," or "I can lower the asking price on my office building," which she recently rehabbed and put on the market, or "I don't know if I need to kick his butt to the curb." I simply pointed out to her that today, she doesn't need to do one thing.

He may make it back and he may not. Late-recovery relapses are very, very difficult, it seems to me. I haven't seen a lot of people make it back once they've had a lot of years in the rooms then they go back out, at least not from drugs.

When these things happen, though, we almost have to take it like we're back in our first year of recovery ourselves and not make major decisions. As my sponsor says, "Stay in Step Eleven and ask God to make it loud so you don't miss it among the veils of denial and confusion."

She walked through this last time with the help of her friends and she'll walk through it again, no matter what happens.

I can no longer procrastinate. I must read and read I must. So I will leave you with this thought. If you don't know what to do, don't do anything. In my case, I know what I must do. Ciao.