Friday, March 23, 2007

Romy guards the fireplace

Romy the Andiron

Not much news today, kids. I have a raging sinus infection and am waiting for my doctor to call me back with antibiotics. So much for traveling.

I met yesterday with my new clients and I think it went okay. Thanks for all the "Yahoos" back from you all. Do you know I've been out of work over two years? I can't believe it. So good things are beginning again, just in time for spring.
It's like that sometimes, isn't it? We go through winters of difficulty and all we can do is keep trudging with ice spikes and wait for spring.
One of my sponslings relapsed and is on a tear. I started working with her when I got a letter from her through our area that she needed someone to help her once she got out of prison. I wrote to her and when she got out, almost the first thing she did is call me and we've been going strong ever since. But she took on too much too soon, wouldn't seek direction, and as a result surrendered her four kids back to foster care again and went on a binge.
It's all too sad and familiar. I call it "The Call of the Wild." It spotlights the cunning, baffling and deadly disease in all its strength that she would choose drugs over her children, who have been in foster care for several years. I can't help her if she isn't willing to follow direction. It's that simple. I love her and will support her if I she calls, but there's little more I can do.
I didn't get here a winner; it took me two solid years of being in and out to get clean. I know how hard it is. I know this, however, after 22 years of continous clean time. One must be willing to follow directions even if it seems counterintuitive and extremely painful. Oldtimers know how to stay clean because we've walked the path and encountered just about every obstacle there is to encounter.
Taking positive action in the face of negative feelings keeps us clean. Following directions allows someone to guide us who can see the red flags we cannot or will not see.
So until tomorrow, my friends, say a prayer for my sponsling and my sinuses. I love you all.


Anonymous said...

Romy is adorable....
I will pray for your sponsling, 2 Dawgs. I, too, know the nearly 3 years of staying in the rooms but still using, before I ever got it. It's a very painful thing to go through and very painful for people to witness, but I guess it's what some of us need to "get it."

"Doesn't it just show the cunning, baffling and deadly disease in all it's strength that she would choose drugs over her children."
Agreed whole heartedly -- and I am someone who chose to leave two kids with their "other mother" so I could continue my addiction in peace.
Simply baffling, isn't it?
Peace to you (and to your sinuses),

vicariousrising said...

That's such sad news about your sponsling and her kids. But thank you for sharing that with us because it is a good reminder for me. It is always a shock to me to hear these kinds of stories, to know how vulnerable we are to this disease, that there is always a place lower for us all to go. And to know, too, that sponsors like you will still take us back if we are willing. I pray I never have to find out that way.

Thanks again.

Noor Azman Othman GBE said...

Hope by now you sinus infection are alright. I can relate to your post. I know, been there, done that. When I think about it, I would think maybe I'm a bit crazy. I would choose drugs to be top priority above all else, sheesh!

Enjoy your weekend and my prayers to both of you.

lushgurl said...

You sound like a great sponsor! I hope that you sponsling will be able to hear you soon!
Early in my recovery my sponsor told me to "just do as you're told, take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth!!!" Today I do what THEY tell me' cause MY way just didn't work.

Meg Moran said...

This post is full of little "profound statements" like "Taking positive action in the face of negative feelings keeps us clean." God yes...and it's hard too...When we are feeling no! no! no! and we make ourselves do something positive.

And "We know how to stay clean because we've walked the path and encountered just about every obstacle there is to encounter." Sometimes that helps me when I am encoutering hard times. I can say to myself, "well at least I can help the next girl who is faced with this, whether I handle it right or wrong, I'm gonna learn something from this mess!"

Tell Romy it's way too early for Santa, so she should probably leave her guard post at the fireplace and head on back to the kitchen.

Anonymous said...

when some of the kids move out of the house...
when we have a bigger home with a big yard...

we will have a cool dog like yours :)