Monday, March 12, 2007

Sitting in the airport

I'm sitting in the Charlotte, NC airport because I missed my connecting flight. I've been flying since I was a kid and this is the first flight I've ever missed. It was another ADD thing. My cell phone didn't roll ahead as my old US Cellular did when I landed in a new time zone, so here I sit, waiting now another three hours for the next flight to Myrtle Beach.

It's not been a great day; too much time alone, I think. It's a two-hour drive from my home to the airport then the flight here and I'm worn out. Wouldn't it be great if they had a 5 p.m. meeting in every major airport in America? I'd like that. I could really use a meeting. Or I could just page a friend of Bill W., I guess.

My significant other and I were talking last night and he basically said that he doesn't think I've changed in the year we've been together. I think I have and I know he has, but if he doesn't see any change in me, then maybe that's not good.

I always felt like if a relationship was "meant to be," there wouldn't be a lot of emphasis on changing the other person; that there would be more flow and less conflict. Am I dreaming?

I've started reading Steven Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I'm feeling pretty blue, though. Part of it is that my life's been up in the air for months, if not years, and I need to make some tough decisions about where I'm going to live to build my business. Naturally, that's hurting the relationship. I had told him a few weeks ago to "step up to the plate," but really, it's me that hasn't even donned the jersey. As they say, when you point a finger there's four pointing back at you.

Until tomorrow, I wish I had more motivational words to share, but some days are like this and you just keep trudging.


msb said...

I think relationships are just hard especially for we addicts. Some are just a bit easier then others. Mine gives me much fodder for working the steps. So I guess thats a good thing. But I do have friends how love me unconditionally. Thats a good thing, boy howdy.

Meg Moran said...

lots of silt stirred up in your river. quiet your mind. I think maybe you need this time with women to replenish your soul. Its a good thing! You can think about the hard stuff later. Rest and recharge your spirit now.

twodogsblogging said...

Thanks for the great advice my friends. I'm recharging as we speak and thanks for your words of wisdom!